Self Love = Discipline

How to be the best version of yourself and smash your 2022 resolutions

2022. Fresh start. New beginning. This is finally the year you choose to reinvent yourself by going vegan, becoming a morning person, launching your business, stopping procrastination and becoming an iron man athlete.

No matter what your flavor of self improvement is, all resolutions stem from a desire to grow. This is why I love new years resolutions — they have amazing intentions. I believe that 80% of resolutions fail because of a misunderstanding of one thing — discipline.

All resolutions require discipline to be sustained. Well, obviously — you knew that already. In theory, it makes perfect sense.

But some days you wake up and just don’t feel like doing that thing you shouldbe doing. We’ve all been there. Other days you wake up feeling amazing, and automatically find yourself in a magical state of flow — you naturally gravitate towards healthy food, look forward to exercise, are super productive. What differentiates these two?

The word ‘discipline’ invokes ideas of control and force and is connotated with ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’. I believe that true discipline feels easy and natural, and therefore evokes sustainable change.

The driver of true discipline — the kind that feels intuitive and results in a flow state — is self love.

When you love yourself, you view your time and resources as super valuable and allocate them accordingly. You automatically choose activities that make you feel good and evolve because life is too short to spend your energy on anything that doesn’t serve you.

When we come from a place of self love, our intentions are aligned with growth.

It’s an easy trap to get distracted by the quantifiable outcomes of resolutions and lose track of the why. This often results in forced discipline — which induces feelings rooted in fear such as guilt, and as a result is unsustainable.

I invite you to rewrite your resolutions to better understand the why. For example:

  • I choose to nourish my body with whole foods because I know it’s what makes my body operate at its best. It’s a gift I give to myself.
  • I surround myself with high-vibrational humans and positive media because it serves me in feeling inspired, and these feelings allow me to make an impact and radiate love.
  • I exercise daily because I love feeling strong, healthy and mindful of my body’s needs.
  • I speak and honor my truth because I respect myself and my thoughts.

Rewriting your resolutions like this helps you perceive your resolutions as acts of self love rather than ‘things you should be doing’.

Understanding that routine is fueled by self love is truly a game changer.

Identity based Goals > Outcome based Goals

In Atomic Habits, James Clear suggests that goals that are more likely to be achieved are identity focused rather than outcome oriented. For example, intend to ‘become a reader’ rather than ‘reading 111 books’.

When we intend to shift our identities, we naturally shift our habits to match the new identity.

Leverage the power of your environment to support you

A pro tip — Upgrade your environment to match your new identity.

The processed junk food in the kitchen, the unmade bed, objects, photos all remind you of the habits and ideas about your old self.

Clear out clutter i.e. physical things that don’t serve you — It subconsciously signals to your brain that you are also ready to shift to a new identity and let go of emotional clutter (thoughts, beliefs and ideas about the world and yourself that don’t serve you).

Have an amazingly impactful year and life ❤

Much love & good luck!

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